Elias: There is no true way to describe the warm slick feeling of another person’s blood on your hands. Trickling down your fingers and wrist as you clasp their bleeding throat. You can still feel the pulse, oddly enough. It’s exhilarating and frightening at the same time, holding another person’s life in the balance. Exhilarating because all I need do is pull my hand away, and in seconds they will bleed to death. Frightening because I hold another’s life and trust so delicately. 

The scent is something to never forget. Metallic. It has a scent like metal in a way, also heat. Seems strange to be able to smell heat, warmth. I swear to you though, in that moment you could damn well near taste it as well.

Blessed is he who sees with closed eyes. Something that popped into my mind at that time. Looking to the person and seeing their eyes wide, but glazed a bit. Pleading with me to save their meaningless existence. Themselves to weak to move, so at my utter mercy. So odd, to have someone’s life in the balance.

The greatest act of mercy ever preformed. The greatest revenge ever exacted.

Both hang in the balance, as I hold the bleeding throat of a man who tormented children. Someone who watched them suffer. So now the choice is there, and he knows it,  he knows I will exact my revenge. This time, I will show no mercy.

Let's take a trip down memory lane 

The words circulate in my brain 

You can treat this like another all the same 

But don't cry like a bitch when you feel the pain

It's been a long time coming 

And the tables' turned around 

Cause one of us is goin' 

One of us is goin' down 

I'm not running, it's a little different now 

Cause one of us is going

One of us is goin' down

Elias crosses the room, towering over the older man. 'I will visit you. Perhaps in a month. Perhaps a year. One day, I will be in the closet when you open it. One day, I will be in the kitchen when you descend the stairs for a drink of water. One day, I really will be the guy sitting behind you at the movies.' He kneels to stare into his eyes. 'Listen to me.' Elias takes the small blade from his front pocket and touches the razor sharp tip to his right index finger. Blood responds. He touches this shiny dot of  scarlet to his mouth, and leans forward, kissing the man on the lips. 'I will be the shadow within the shadow you fear the most.'

Elias; This and last week has really tested me, and I'm willing to admit that I am struggling some. However, I won't give up, not yet. I should have guessed that living in a building full of demons wouldn't be so easy on ones soul. I'm incredibly angry at myself, and I can feel my anger rising. I mustn't take that out on anyone.


I ruined things, again. But not for Nameless this time, I think, but myself. Which I see as more than fair. It's karma. I destroy his relationship, and Nameless suffers. Now, the tables have turned. The bond that me and Skye had is probably now non-existent, and I feel the one pushed aside and suffering. I accept this fate, it is my punishment. 


As promised, I won't leave. I can be another hand around the house, or a waste of space, whichever you prefer to call me. I don't mind. I figure in Sebastian's current state, he may appreciate my help. Also, in this house of demons, and those destined for Hell, I feel...as if I fit in. I plan to remain here until I die or get away. Whichever comes first.


Cross, may you rest well. You will be greatly missed.

Cambion: I hate this, I really do. With all these health issues, it makes me feel incompetent and inferior. I can't see, which makes leaving the house a bit of a problem. I can't go though the middle of the streets of London in my animal form. I'll be killed. I've always been one for being outside quite often, and now I'm forced to stay indoors most of the time. I don't want Keaira to feel as if he has to look after me all the time. I get the feeling this depresses him. Caru too, which is why he wont come home. I can manage... I'll learn to cope with this somehow, even if there is nothing I want more right now than to see Keaira's face again. 


I told Keaira to not bother with pestering mum for a cure. I'm going accept this as everyone's payback for the things I've done to them in the past. I did this so Keaira could get better, and thus we could stick together. Honestly, I believe my eyesight isn't enough to give to repay him for the things he's done for me. 


Yes, I hate it, but I did this for him. I love him, and I'll do almost anything for him as long as he is happy and healthy.


On the brighter side, Echo is to have a child soon. I can't wait to meet it, I'm so excited even if I'll never know what it looks like...

Denzel: I know I've done something I shouldn't have, but I actually don't feel bad about it at all. Mummy and daddy did it, Bambi and Lecea have and Ciel and Sebastian do it too, so why I can't I? I thought it was going to be a horrid experiance, but it really wasn't! Maybe Elias is right when he says 'Don't knock it before you've tried it' ...Oh wait, he always says that when he tries to get me to eat new foods. I can't tell Eli about what I did with Caru. I know he loathes that kind of thing, and if he were to find out I'd be in big trouble. That's why daddy can't find out, or Bambi. Especially him. Caru suggested Geniveve didn't find out either. She fancies him, but he fancies me! She'd hate me. I don't want that. I like her. I think she is very pretty. If she didn't like me anymore, then I wouldn't be able to ask if I could wear any of her dresses...

Lots of things have happened the past few days. I got better. My eyes are fine now, all thanks to the necklace Caru gave to me. That's pretty too, and I love it. I have to pretend that Caru didn't manage to infuse his own blood into it somehow or I get creeped out. I imagine it's called a 'Bloodstone' for the colour, and not what's in it.

I've played games. First I played hide and seek with Sebastian, after I asked him nicely to make me a coffee, just like Geniveve makes hers. He called Lucky a silly old bear! He is not. He's one of my best friends and I love him very much. Sebastian says he's best at everything because he's lived so long... I say he's a liar, and the only thing he's good at is showing off his huge ego. I told Caru he was rubbish at playing hide and seek because I won. Sebastian couldn't find me. Only, Sebastian heard me say it and he got really angry and threw a chair at me, but he missed... He can't even throw properly! 

Caru and I played truth or dare. It started off fun. I got Caru to wear a dress of mine, and it made him look lovely. He should wear them more often. I wouldn't mind letting him borrow them. I don't suggest taking a dress off someone with only your teeth, using no hands or feet, it's harder than it looks. I dared Caru to say something to Sebastian, and he did, but I think Sebastian may have slapped him. I thought it was mean. So then I made him go back and slap Sebastian back. I knew Sebastian was evil and scary because he hurt Caru really bad. I felt awful. I shouldn't have made him do it, because he got really sad after. I can't remember why on earth I went up to Sebastian demanding he apologise to him. I hit Sebastian with a pillow, but he didn't punish me, he just picked me up and put me outside the door.  I broke my own finger as a means of punishment to myself. I can't be so stupid and let my friends get hurt. Maybe next time I'll learn before getting someone to approach something scary.

Getting back to the thing I did with Caru... I'd do it again, provided it remained a secret from the others. I can't even explain to myself why I enjoyed it. I hadn't felt that close to someone before. It made me happy. A kind of happy that I'll never get with Lucky. That really is quite a shame. Maybe... me and Lucky can try and work something out so everyone is happier. I think I can understand why people even have sex with the people they love, and thinking that me and Lucky can never- Oh, that smell~  Elias is making cookies. I had better go and  see to them before this so called Ulixies cookie monster does.

Cambion: Yesterday was somewhat interesting, to say the least. I met two new people. Geniveve and Ulixes. Geniveve is vermin half-blood and a liar. Ulixes is... Okay, so honestly, bats do look like tailess and legless rats, and rats are also street vermin and pests, but I'm not going to call Ulixes vermin because bats don't scare me. They're adorable. I was carrying him around yesterday in my hand. He's friendly enough to me. It's weird though how he just knows everything about everyone. Best not to lie to that guy though, he'll probably be able to tell.  We made cookies, and he ate most of them. They were good. I think he has his fathers talent for cooking sweet things.


I was able to go into the Phantomhive manor and not get thrown out, which surprised me a lot. I did come across Ciel, and we spoke a little. He did seem angry at first, but then I told him how me and Sebastian were on talking terms again. I said that Sebastian was clever and that if he thought it was a bad idea to speak to me, then he wouldn't do it. I think Ciel trusts him a lot, considering after I said that, he agreed to try his hardest not to hate me, but he's not making any promises. I need to be on my best behaviour around them, because my chances are wearing a little thin. I wasn't expecting anymore after the fire, but it would appear I was wrong. 


I also spoke to Caru yesterday. It was a bit of a failure to be honest. Turns out he doesn't like bats, and he hates it when I say bad things about Denzel. He's pissed that I made him sick. Oh well, he admitted Denzel is getting better so it shouldn't even bother him anymore. No real harm done. I just hope Caru doesn't stay mad, because even though I'm his uncle, I see him rather as a younger brother or something. I told Keaira I'd always be nice to him, and I hope that Caru will let me. But it'd be difficult it he hates me. I'm impatient and I have a strong tendency to say hurtful things without thinking about it.

A night sky full of cries

Hearts filled with lies

The contract - is it worth the price?

A soul pledged to the darkness

Now I've lost it

I know I can kill

Does truth exist beyond the gates?

Denzel; I'm still sick, and I don't want to be anymore. Not that I had wanted to in the first place but... I hate being stuck in this dark room. I hate the dark. I'd go out if I could, but I can't. Firstly, Elias says I'm not allowed because I can't even stand on my own two feet properly. Secondly because the light makes my head hurt, and that makes my eyes bleed a little and that actually scares me. It scares Lucky too, and I don't want to scare him. 


I think Elias is very kind looking after me like this. He isn't my mummy or daddy but he still acts like one. My parents don't seem to... be doing much for me. They do know I'm ill right? I know daddy does, so why doesn't he try and help me get better? Eli sits with me all night when I'm up being sick all the time, and one night he even shared my bed because I didn't want him to leave. He's so nice, but I wish mummy would do that. It gets lonely in here. I think maybe Lucky is getting sick too because he's not talking too much anymore and-.... Eh, what am I doing?... 

For I am not just any man

I am a justice bringer

I bring justice to those who have done wrong

Those who do not deserve

To have their life

As they have corrupted it

So I steal their life

They fight to survive

But it does no good

As I am unbeatable

I cannot be traced

Yet I am just another man to them

Blending in with the crowd

As I seek my next target

I confront my victim

He just stares at me

Unaware of whom I am

I say my name

He tries to run

But resistance is futile

He cannot escape from me

No one can

Denzel; I have some important news. Me and Lucky are lovers. I met Sebastian last night, and he said that boyfriend doesn't sound sophisticated enough for him, so it wont be for me either! ...Sebastian is scary. I mean, he's not as bad as I first thought, but he is the king of Hell, so he's got to be. I hate demons because they're creepy, but I can see myself making a few exceptions. Like for mummy, or Caru. But, at least Sebastian thinks me and Lucky are sweet together, and he thinks Lucky is pretty.

Daddy got me sick with that alcohol juice he let me have. I think I'll listen to Ciel when he says not to drink stuff Daddy gives me. It was horrid. Ciel is... I don't know what to think of him. He's nice for giving me his dresses, I love those. Well, apart from the best one which isn't mine anymore because I said to Sebastian he can keep it, because I was scared he was going to eat me after he said it was special to him... I wish Ciel didn't drop his pants infront of me though. I wont forget that in a hurry. 

I went out last night, after I saw mummy. He said I needed more friends and that Lucky is just a stuffed animal. Which he is, but he's not just that to me. He's very special because Elias gave him to me so Lucky could look after me, and he does! I went out looking for Elias last night, but I made Lucky stay at home so I could try and be a big brave boy. But that didn't work, because I got really scared and ended up running home almost in tears. London is too big and loud and I don't even know where to start looking! What made it worse was that it was dark out. I hate the dark... All kinds of demons and monsters come out at night. That's why I met Sebastian upon my return to the manor. 

Elias come home, I want you to look after me again. Daddy doesn't seem to cope very easy looking after children on his own, and I'm worried mummy is going to run off again. He seems too distant about everything and I think talking about Elias and daddy upsets him. 

Cambion; I can probably count my friends on my fingers now. I recently lost another, Aranis. He was one I didn't fancy losing, but... It would appear that jealousy has taken him over. He refuses to accept the fact that he's lost Keaira to me. True, I wanted those two to be together, but I know now that's not going to happen. I myself, can see Keaira happy a little happier around me, and now that is how I wish it to stay. We live together, and I can keep an eye on him. I have to wean him off those blasted drugs. Making him happy is honestly harder than I thought. I'm willing to do almost anything for him, but the one thing he seems to want more than anything from me is sex. Heh, maybe it's because he really wants to show me how much he cares, or perhaps it's his raging hormones that want it. Is having sex with a nine year old appealing, Keaira? I don't have my innocence, so it can't be that. You took that a long time ago. We tried having sex a few days back, but it didn't work out. It still terrifies me, even if I trust him more than anyone. Dammit, I don't want to have sex! Don't make me do things...that I'm not ready for. I'm just a child, and I want to stay that way for a while.


Keaira, I do love you but please just give me some time, or you'll end up scaring me even more, and that will just make you unhappy. You'll get what you wish for, don't worry...

Cambion;                                    

The demons are leaving my soul. 

 The shadows of the night are defeated by happiness.

I feel love.

I feel liberty.

My soul is saved.
Happiness is strong.

Cambion; Keaira and Aranis were supposed to be happy together. I feel as if I've gotten in the way of that, and stopped it from happening. Keaira doesn't love him. 


Aranis will think this is my fault and hate me again. He'll probably fall into depression, maybe even commit suicide again... I'd given him false hope.  


Mother, Sebastian... You are both incompetent fools! You had the chance to kill me more than once, so why didn't you do it? I even told you to. No matter what I do, what I try, I will always cause misery for those around me, directly or not. Now Aranis must suffer because of me, and I sure as hell do not want him to. Keaira, however can not be forced to love someone. 


I deserve a fate worse than death for what I have done in the past. The fire. I'm full with guilt for murdering those children. It wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't in my right state of mind. My emotions took over. Tie me up and torture me for an eternity. I expect no less after I die. I don't want to cause pain and suffering to my friends. I just want them to be happy. But I've noticed you can't give one person happiness, without hurting someone else. I despise the way that system works. I can't please anyone...

Elias; I’ve left the Phantomhive manor. Whether this is a temporary thing or not, I do not know. Skye told me to leave, and I have. I can’t stand seeing him mad, upset or angry with me. Things haven’t been the same between us since Nameless left him, and with his son passing away due to the events of the recent fire. He’s coping bad, and I just wish I could comfort him, and try and make him feel even a tiny bit better, but I can’t. I’m shouted at. I’ve been told to die, leave and not come back. I’m giving Skye a week to think about what he said. I’ll admit, he does change his mind often, which is why I haven’t left for the next town already. I think I may do work in Cambridge, then off to Norwich, then Leicester and Nottingham. I have a bit of money to get me out of London now, and I’m looking forward to getting out of this place... But I don’t want to leave Skye, even if he wants me gone. If me being away makes him happier, then I’ll do it. His happiness is most important. I must remember this.

Skye needs to know that even though it feels as if the world is over, it isn’t. Life is only as bad and as dark as you make it. I never came from a good background. My mother always taught me to think of a better future and try and make it a reality. You can choose to keep living in darkness, or you can struggle and find the light at the end of the road. I did. Always. I’ve come out on top. I reached that happy place, kind of. If it slips away, I catch it again. It’s easier than you think. I was born on the streets, I used to steal from people to try and keep myself alive. I thought I’d be doing that forever. Mother got sick, and unfortunately passed away. As upset and distraught as I was, I kept going, for her sake. Trying to prove that I can make her proud. Get somewhere in life.

I get caught and taken in by Lord Trancy, and along with those other boys, we were used sexually. This was not what I wanted for myself. The other boys, stayed in the dark. They saw no future for themselves. I wouldn’t be like that, I had to keep going. I wasn’t giving in to some dirty old man. Every time I got called upon by Trancy, I’d put up a fight. I wouldn’t be beaten and broken like the others who had given up. I have the scars to prove for my courage of trying to stand up for myself. It seems another boy also didn’t want to have his life end in this disgusting place. When Trancy died, Alois let the remaining boys go. So I came to be back on the streets again. But instead of stealing from others, I decided to look around for somewhere to work, in exchange for a place to stay, and a little food. Eventually the search paid off, and I was given a chance to work in bakery by a lovely lady called Nancy. I adored her, really. She taught me how to bake after I had finished my jobs of sweeping floors, cleaning cooking equipment and collecting flour from across town. Already, life was looking better for me. I stayed with her for quite some time, saving the little money I was given. Nancy got married to a man I did not get along well with. He was vile and cruel. This made life at the bakery a little... difficult. Life continued to favour me. He went missing and turned up dead. Murdered. Nancy was a wreck. The business was failing because she couldn’t find the inner strength to work. I tried to take her place, but it was difficult. I wasn’t as experienced. A few months passed and the place had to be shut down. I was sad to see it go, but I couldn’t hang around. I took the money I had saved, and went to pay Alois a visit. I knew he was still staying at the Trancy Mansion and that wasn’t too far away for me to travel. I would give him personal thanks for letting us go back in the past. Alois, kindly let me stay with him for a while, provided I helped out a little. I was more than happy to help. It was when I was living with Alois that I met Skye. I moved from living with Alois, to staying with Skye. For someone who was born to a single parent in the most dirtiest part of London’s streets, to living in a grand manor with the most dearest person to me, I’ll say I have done well for myself. Wouldn’t you say so?

But now, I’m in this hotel, and I can feel Skye slipping away. For the first time ever, I don’t want to continue on, but I have to. I won’t forget about him. If leaving makes him happy, so be it. I can be glad I’ve made him better by leaving. I’ve got to keep going, find the next happy point in my life. It’ll come. If you wish for it, it’ll be there. Don’t give up. Life will always get better, you just have to let it.

Stay strong, Princess. Don’t ever make me regret leaving you. I don’t want to believe me going away was a bad choice. I did this for you, because you asked me to.

Elias; The manor burned down. I managed to get out okay, and I think everyone else did too, apart from one person, Denzel. I don't think he was able to get out of the burning building fast enough. I went back after all the flames and gone out, and searched around the grounds for him, but found nothing. I only found his little bear, Lucky, who was surprisingly still recognisable. I guess the bear really is lucky, but how unfortunate Denzel was not. That poor child, he was only seven years old. His parents and brother will be most upset, and Skye has enough to deal with already.  Sorry, Princess... I wasn't able to get to your son in time to save him. 

Cambion; Today has been... The most devastating day of my life. My poor brother. He's dead, all thanks to the joint effort of Claude and Ciel. Claude had killed himself, and Keaira felt the need to do the same. He didn't want to be apart from him. Ciel wished Keaira was miserable. His wish came true, and now I'm stuck, wanting to to the same as as Keaira, but I can't. I told him only hours before that I wouldn't commit suicide over the person I loved. Truth is, I probably couldn't understand the pain of losing the person you love the most then, and now I do. I hadn't expected him to do it. He's supposed to be the strong one I look up to. I need someone to look up to now, and no one is there...


I feel terribly lonely, even if Jazz is still here with me. Although, she wont be for much longer, will she? No, because everyone you get close to, either dies, or turns on you. I hated love for that reason, and now I'm thinking to abandon even friendship. It's useless. I want to go back to the way I was before. Half-demon. It was less painful without all these emotions. 


It's foolish to want to back out of a contract, but I don't want Jazz to 'save' my soul from Hell anymore. If Keaira has gone to Hell, then that's where I want to go as well, even if it means I have to suffer for an eternity. Part of me now hopes Jazz does indeed pass before I do, so my soul will not be devoured. I'll meet up with my brother again one day. When I told Keaira I loved him, I really meant it. I always have done, I've just been too scared to say so. 


I wont allow my parents to take Keaira and bury him on the manor grounds. If he's with them, then that means I wont be able to visit him all the time. Jazz is going to take him and bury him in the woods, away from where people will find him. The only people who are to know of his and Claude's whereabouts is me, Jazz and Aurelei. No one else. Not my parents. 


I haven't left his side for more than an hour since Jazz bought him inside, and that was to go to the roof of this block of flats.


Burn it.


I could see Ciel's manor burning in the distance. Well done, Jazz. Ciel left me without a real home, and now he must lose his. I'm hoping people get trapped in that fire and burn. Ciel needs to lose loved ones. The more, the better. Forget wanting to see him smile. I want to see the bastard cry...


Rest In Peace, Keaira. I love you so, so much.


Even alone, I’ll go on, even if it’s painful.
I’ll definitely take along the dream I saw with you.
It was nice to be with you, you and not anyone else.
…But in the morning I woke up to, you’re not there.


Even alone, I’ll go on. Even if I start to want to die,
I’ll hear your voice telling me that I must not die.
Even if it’s painful, even if the loneliness makes me cry,
Deep in my heart, I’ll feel your warmth.

Cambion; Keaira looked after me when mummy attacked me. Even though I probably cause so much trouble for everyone, he still says he cares about me. Although, It does make me wonder how much longer it will take before he has finally had enough of me and casts me aside. I really want to go back and live with Ciel, but I'm worried that mummy, Lecea or Sebastian will go after Jazz. Rather than living in the manor with angel half-breeds, and idiots like Lecea, I could have a flat of my own next to Keaira. Anyone wouldn't expect me to turn the offer down. I'm not going to say no. London city doesn't sound too bad... Our own little flat, for me and Jazz to stay in.  Vermin has even replaced me back at home as well, they're everywhere. Everywhere apart from here, with Keaira. You're going to keep it that way right, Keaira? Outside space like the countryside  may be a little limited out here, but Jazz could get used to it. Unfortunately, I guess this decision counts as me being an idiot and Ciel's going to hate me again for picking Keaira over him, but he really needs to understand that mine and Jazz's safety comes before his ridiculously high standards of what he expects from me...

Elias; You spoke to me yesterday, and told me not to leave you, and that gave me the inspiration to work even harder to make these perfect for you, Princess. I'll never leave you unless you make it one hundred percent clear you want me gone. I hope you like them....

Elias; I don't think things are going too well, you're still too depressed. Me and Denzel made some cookies in hopes of giving you something nice and appealing to eat, considering you refuse to come out of your room to even feed yourself. Pink sugar cookies. They're pretty to look at, just like you are. 


Denzel said you refused to eat them because I had made them. It kind of hurts to hear that. I can't do anything to help you because you wont let me... If only I could do something to cheer you up just a tiny bit. Also, I'd like it very much if you'd help by looking after Denzel a little more before you accuse me of taking Nameless's place as a parent. I don't want that, either. If he's upset, he comes to me because you wont talk to anyone. 


Maybe I'll have to try and cheer you up even more with my baking skills. Butterfly cookies perhaps?... 

Denzel; I went out the other day to ask people if they had seen my mummy anywhere. I had no luck.  I was on my way back home when I came across this guy, so I decided to ask him as well. He said he hadn't seen mummy, but would come and tell me if he found anything out. I told him where I lived, and still he pronounced the name wrong. Phantomhive, not Faggothive. Maybe he has something wrong with him where he can't say certain words right, because I don't understand how you can make a mistake like that...


We spoke for a very short time before he told me that my blood smelt nice. I was confused. Why would he need to tell me that? He smelt different himself... Then he shouted at me. He told me to run, and that is exactly what I did. I panicked. This man, he caught up with me very quickly and attacked me. I was pinned up against the wall, while he bit my neck. It hurt quite a lot and I got very scared and started to cry. That was when something different happned. I turned into something... that didn't seem like me. Demon forms are scary too. That was when the man let me go. Then my arm started to hurt a lot. I think he broke it. I wanted someone to come and help me, but that never happened. I stayed down on the ground until the pain went away and I was able to pick myself up and run back home. 


Don't talk to strangers? I don't even want to go outside again... I'm terrifed. I need my mummy to give me a cuddle and to tell me eveything will be okay. That's what they're supposed to do right? Not run away...

Alois; 'Good. It's so lonely at home now without him around, and I haven't seen him in a long time.'


Damn you Mello for messing up my bloody garden! You've made it attract little girls....


I went to let the dog out yesterday, only to find my grandaughter, Aurelei planting seeds in my garden. She didn't think it looked very nice. Well, it did look acceptable before Mello started acting like a dog, digging up all my pretty flowers. It's his fault it now looks like crap.


What surprised me most about yesterday, was that I stood talking to Aurelei for quite a while, and I was being.... nice to a girl. Seriously, I really must be getting old, wanting company from almost anyone. My children have grown up and left home, I don't have sex much, I spend a lot of my time walking the dog or doing gardening while my husband sits around all day reading newspapers. Don't get married, it makes you boring! 


On the plus side, I did have sex yesterday for the first time in a month, and I figure it was well worth the wait. I feel great accomplishment. See, going without sex for a month is easy, Ciel. You horny bastard. Oh, oh! I hope to see Keaira soon. He needs to get his ass down here before me and Malphas start shouting at biscuits over tea like a real old pair of crazy fools... We need more of a social life.

Denzel; Why did you have to leave, mummy? We need to be a proper family. You have to come back. Everyone is so upset without you here.

We need you. I need you...

Cambion; People need to stop dumping their babies or losing them. Although...if the baby is an angel, I can see why you'd want to get rid of it. However, do the world a favour and drown it. Don't leave it for someone else to find. ...Actually, I don't think it's possible to drown an angel, but still. Jazz found one, a baby. I don't really know what she's going to do with it, but my suggestion was obviously the best one. I wonder what mummy would do with it...


The treehouse Jazz made is pretty much done, and it looks awesome. She also bought my chocolate back from my old house, however a fair amount of it has gone missing. I blame my parents, good for nothing... Ugh. That was mine, you bastards. On the plus side though, apparently Ajax is doing fine, and that makes me very happy, although I do miss him terribly. That is the only thing that I hate about not being able to go back. I had to leave my poor doggy behind.


I think that I may have come up with Lecea's punishment for hurting Ciel. I care about Ciel, and Lecea hurt him...try and guess what I am going to do. I'm not going to expect Lecea to just stand there while I do this, so I'm glad I made this contract. Jazz is my shield incase this all backfires. I just hope Ciel doesn't care about what I am going to do, or I am going to be in even more trouble with him and I don't want that. I hate being locked outside. I'm going to have to think of something to make everything up to him. Chocolate and flowers isn't going to be enough. I want a cuddle from Ciel...I haven't had one of those in a long time.

Elias; I never wanted it to turn out like this for you. Because of me, you have been broken up with. I'm very sorry, but I couldn't get Nameless to stay, Princess. He put his wedding ring on my finger and said it suited me better. I disagree. You picked Nameless, and that's the way it should stay. If you wanted me, then you wouldn't have got married to him in the first place. I've accepted that. You two breaking up isn't something I had hoped for. I feel terribly guilty, and what's worse is that I'm the one that is going to have to tell you that Nameless has left your side. I'd rather not be the one to tell you, because that means I'm going to have to upset you. I hate this. I hate this mess I have made. You have children together. You two were perfect.

Alois; 'My balls hurt!'

Dear Malphas,

It's only been just over three weeks since we last had sex. A month isn't even that long. I'm doing fine. If you're in so much 'pain', then I suggest you take a little time off with your hand and relive yourself of the problem. Stop bitching at me, please. You're making my ears hurt. Four days left. I can do this, for sure and so can you. Oh, also... if you end up going to Ciel to fix your little problems, your balls wont be the only thing that hurts when I am done with you. 

Lots of love and kisses, Alois. 

Cambion; Right now, I am beyond happy. Yesterday, Keaira made me realise that Jack isn't really Jazz's twin brother that no one had ever heard of until after Jazz died. If you put all the little bits together, it made sense. How could I have not guessed it? Jack is only Jazz in a male form. To everyone else, she's going to remain as Jack. But to me, she'll switch into her female form, and I will address her as Jazz. We formed a contract in order to save my soul when I die. I wont have to suffer in hell. I honestly didn't really care if I were made to suffer, but I agreed to form a contract in order to keep her happy. If she wants to do me this favour, then I'm not going to say no to her. Everything will stay the same as before between me and Jazz. I'm not going to treat her like a slave, or order her around. The only thing that has changed is the seal on my wrist. I'm not even going to bother hiding it from anyone. Ciel said not to hide things from him, so I wont. He's not going to like it, but he'll get over it in time. It's not hurting him, he shouldn't care. 

I don't care about what anyone says or thinks about this pact I made. I'm just glad I got Jazz back. My Jazebel. That fleabag...

Elias; That trip down to the lake didn't quite go as planned, did it, Princess? I was hoping you wouldn't go into the water. I also hoped that you didn't get upset and start to cry. Of course, I am so mean, and nowadays I can't see you without making you shed  tears, isn't that right? It pains me to see you upset. I'm really sorry, but I still fail to see the reason that makes you say you hate me. You said it was because I was too strict. I worry about you too much, that's all. I fear for your safety. I refuse to let anything happen to someone else that means the world to me. If it wasn't for you, I would have left London a long time ago. I have a job to do that requires me to keep moving. Staying here with you though doesn't sound too bad. I guess I'll just have to hope for the best. 


'I am no model figure.'


There were a few things that happened yesterday that surprised me. First off, I didn't expect to throw my camera in the lake  just to show you that I care about your happiness rather than luxury items that can be easily replaced. You can't be replaced. I'd rather keep you. The second thing that surprised me was when you kissed me. I didn't kiss back, but I also didn't push you away and the reason for that was because it made me very happy. I didn't return the kiss because I thought you'd tell me off for it. You're married now, I'm not allowed to kiss you. I accept it, it's not so much of a problem, but it does make me feel very guilty when you do things like that. Poor Nameless. He's such a sweet boy. I don't want to play a part in the heartbreak of someone else's relationship. The last thing was when you said you loved me. Again, I felt that pang of guilt, but I couldn't help but ask if I were allowed to say it back to you. You told me I could, so I did. I love you, Princess. I always will, even if you never leave Nameless. I'm not going to ask you to do that. Your happiness is far more important to me than my own.


'I come on shameless, but I am ashamed.'

Alois; Apparently Sebastian has finally had enough of Ciel and his pathetic behaviour and left. I say good for him. It's about time someone showed Ciel that he can't go on treating people like utter shit. I'd do it myself, but I do somewhat value my own life. Without Sebastian in the way though, I can tease and taunt him as much as I please. Sounds fun, doesn't it? 

Mello is a vampire. Are there really any humans around any more? I thought Mello was a human, but apparently not. Oh! I know... I'm a zombie, I just don't know it yet. There are angels, demons and vampires. I'm going to be different and be a zombie. I'll eat brains for lunch and dinner, and maybe some eyeballs for a snack... Crap, I need to think of something better to do with my day. Well, I'm off now to take Ajax out for a walk and maybe do a little blackberry picking for a certain someone, and maybe I'll have to hand feed him to make sure little mess is made. 

Cambion; Even if I didn't hate Lecea that much before, I can certainly say that I do now. What he did to Ciel, it makes me just so...angry. I remember showing Ciel my bottle of holy water once. He knew I wasn't going to cause him any harm, but he was still fearful nonetheless. I can only imagine how scared he must have been when Lecea attacked him with it. Ciel is strong, and I hardly ever see him show any fear, which is one of the reasons I look up to him so much, but to picture him in pain and terrified-.... Damn that child of his. He should consider himself very lucky that he has become immune to pain and holy items. So much would I love to sneak into his room at night while he sleeps. I'd look down on that pretty face of his that is so akin to that of his fathers; too bad that looks is the only thing they have in common. Ciel is a sweet loving person, whereas   Lecea is not. I'd pour the water over his face and watch as it scalds, burns and disfigures his features. At least then, his looks will reflect his personality. Lecea needs to be severely punished and as soon as I come up with a suitable form of punishment for him, I can guarantee I will take action.


Moving away from my anger... I woke up this morning with swollen eyes. I went ahead and followed through with what I said I was going to Jack; Jazz's twin brother, and save my crying until later. In all honesty, I thought that once I had started, I wouldn't stop. Again, I damn these human emotions. They never get any easier for me to adapt to. Keaira once said that the worst part of loving someone is losing them in the end, and the pain that follows after. It is that pain that makes me never want to fall in love, but can't help but wonder if that is what I am experiencing right now. I never felt this when Ansel, Aranis or Solange died. Sure, I may have been closer to Jazz then the rest of them, but I never thought losing someone would hurt this much.   That annoying nagging voice in the back of my head needs to go away. She was nothing more than a close friend, and that is what she only ever would have been, if she were still here. I did not 'love' her. It's impossible, for I am the vile heartlessness and I will never be able to love another. I do miss you, Jazz. I want you back. I'm sorry for betraying your trust.


'I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend but I always thought that I'd see you again.'

Elias;  I miss things being the way they used to be for us. 


On the bright side, I think I made a new friend yesterday. He has an air about him that reminds me of you. I don't know if that pleases, or upsets me.


I saw him again today. He gave me gifts. I'm very grateful Cross, thank you. They were lovely. We spoke about you, Princess. I need to take you down to the lake to feed the ducks. Maybe you'd like that, and you wont seem so angry at me anymore. Please, don't fall in though. I don't fancy taking a swim to fetch you out after. I'd love it if you'd both meet one day. I wont ask him again to find you. He...didn't like the idea that I wanted him to cheer you up because you're my ex. I don't see a problem with it. Is it wrong to want to bring two friends together? Oh, and don't worry Princess. No one could ever replace you.

Elias says; 'Don't be so damn hard on yourself. Yeah, you screwed up. You're not perfect, fine.. Learn from it, but don't punish yourself. Be kind to yourself when you screw up. You'll bounce back eventually. You'll make up for it.'