I've never lost anyone close to me before. I've seen it happen to people, yet obviously couldn't fathom just how much it  actually hurt someone emotionally. I got it wrong. 

Last night I held Nikola in the burnt remains of a church he'd some time prior, as he died. At first, when I'd joined him after returning from our slightly disastrous day out with Levi, I had been annoyed and angry with him. I had wanted him to behave, and everything to go smoothly. I understand he wasn't himself, but did he really have to go so far?

After we got talking about an occurring subject as of late between us, saving him, I calmed, even though I could see in Nikola's eyes that he would not be returning back the manor with me tonight. Alive, at least. I didn't attempt to take him back to Sebastian before his life slipped away, knowing he'd protest. I didn't really wish to upset him on his death bed. I knew he wasn't going to make it, so I swallowed my urges to take him back and stayed with him. He wanted to die there, in that church. I let him. I tried to make our topic of conversation a little more cheerful, in hopes of him not being upset as he passed. We talked about his birthday, and what he would like. Cake, and sweets. I sang him a song, about a brave little soldier, who died   in battle trying to protect the crown. I made note to smile to him more, in his last moments. I know he would have wanted me to be happy, if the last thing he saw was the smile on my face, I know his mind should be at rest. 

Finally, he died and I took his soul. I had it bound to one of my rings for safe keeping. I planned to save it for when a reversal for the hex was found, it would be easier to bring him back. However, as I approached the manor, with this lifeless body in my arms, I had stolen from me the one thing I wanted and needed most at the time, which was Nikola's soul. Xaphan took it and consumed it infront of me, and then proceeded to go through Nikola's things, taking anything of interest. Apparently the hex notes had been hidden in his hat all along, and in truth, Nikola had wanted me to find them and then save his life, but now it was too late. Xaphan burnt them to ashes. Nikola had wanted me to save him, and I was too stupid and distracted to see that. I'm so sorry... 

Nikola's soul will not be returned to me, as Sebastian claims Xaphan is to keep it. Why? I do not know. Apparently it was his to take before Nikola was born, which I do not understand. I am waiting for Sebastian's explination to these matters. Why do I have to wait for things to come clear? I am distraught and I wish to know now! Damn Xaphan. I can tell Sebastian must have a great deal of respect or some sort for him otherwise he wouldn't have allowed him to do what he did. For that reason, I have not killed Xaphan ten times over as I would like to.

I asked Sebastian if I could stop worrying about Nikola, and if he is going to come back. The reply I got was that there is a loophole to everything. I do wish he's right. As slim as the chance of it happening, I am grasping onto that hope with both hands. Sebastian said it himself, and I trust him very much... I can't afford to not believe him right now. It's all I have.

I promised Levi I would spend the night with him. I also promised Nikola I would take care of his soul. I already broke one promise that night, so what does it matter if I broke another? Sorry, Levi. I just did not want you to wake up and question me. I do not want comforting right now. I wish to be alone, in my sorrows and mourning. I imagine Nikola would have done the same thing.

When hunting prey, remember these words. You're conducting a sting operation, not an air raid. Don't chase moths with a blow torch. Light an attractive flame and draw them in for the kill. Know when to back off and when to come back at a more opportune time. Be gentle. Talk lovingly to the little lamb. Speak reassuring words. Over the raw flesh of your malice, wear the skin of civility. Stroke his cheek with one hand as you slit his throat with the other. 

Do your job with cold blooded craft, under the veil of warm blooded tenderness. Hold their hand lovingly, whispering promises of happiness, as you lead them into the eternal night.

I'm not sure if I am more annoyed with myself for helping Genesis get out of Hell, or pleased. I don't want people to think that I am getting 'soft' or more friendly. I wish to remain how I used to be, but I am starting to find that a little difficult. It's probably due to being used to being an angel. I think it changes you as a person. I hate that. If I keep changing, people will assume they can walk all over me and I will appear to be weak, which is someting I've never wanted to think of myself as being.  So what if I helped an angel?... Or if I admitted to maybe feeling guilty because of what I did to Aranis?  I told Keaira that I would never want to see Aranis commit suicide again, however I said I did not care if he died. I just do not want to see it. I knew I wouldn't be able to see Aranis die after a dream I had a couple of weeks ago. It was night and Keaira was working, and so I was asleep at home.  I woke up in tears, because I was reminded of how upset I was after witnessing his suicide back when we were friends. Making friends was a difficult task for me back then, and he was one of my first. To lose him, really upset me. I was also very mad that someone would do such a thing. He was very selfish.  Even if thinking about that still upsets me, I cannot forgive him for things he has done in the past. First being the suicde, for making me see such a terrible thing. Second for murdering my best friend, and then causing Keaira to cheat on me.  I guess I can blame him for Gabriel raping Keaira too. If Gabriel wasn't dead because of him it never would have happened.

Right now, I'm itching for violence. I need to know I can still be a violent person and that I have not completely fallen to being some, goodie-two-shoes vermin.  I've even stopped being so defensive and agressive around my mother. Well, not as much as I used to be, but I have to force myself to be as I am now. No one knows what I really think about Mum, or how I feel towards him.. I still want to do things to try and break him down, but I think other things too. ...Dammit, I just want him to show me hostile feelings towards me  so I can start feeling the same back again, as much as I used to. I need more people to hate. I won't turn on Genesis, as that would be stupid. I know I couldn't win against him in a fight.  I suppose there is always Nameless to direct my attention to. I want his eyes to go back to the way they were before. The eyes I hated. Then it can spark up some more hatred from the past in me. Nameless, Mum, Lachrimae, Aranis and Lecea, come out and give me more things to hate you for. No one else is worth it. I want violence. I bet my agressive nature hasn't disappeared, it's hidden inside of me somewhere, getting bigger, but I need something or someone to set it off.

Pick original characters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Nemo

2) Cam

3) Denzel

4) Ciel

5) Sebastian

6) Aranis

7) Caru

8) Elias

9) Bambi

10) Keaira
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.) 1 (Nemo), 3 (Den), 5 (Seb), 6(Aranis) each want to kill 4(Ciel). Why?

Uh, Nemo wants to kill Ciel just for being the biggest asshole in his eyes. Den wants to kill Ciel for wanting to throw Nemo out. Seb wants to kill Ciel for... killing his cats. Aranis wants to kill Ciel because he's...a bad mother? D:


2.) 1 (Nemo) thinks 8 (Eli)  is gay. Whats 8's reaction?

Eli would tell him he is correct. Eli is married to Nemo's grandfather after all.

3.) 5 (Seb)  and 6 (Aranis) each get accepted into separate rival secret organizations bent on creating a hobo-powered death beam before the other does! WHAT HAPPENS!!?!?!?!?

Seb will  finish creating the beam first, then he'll shoot Aranis with it to show him how awesome it was.


4. 1 (Nemo) tries to kiss 2 (Cam), 3 (Den) , 4 (Ciel), 5 (Seb) and 6 (Aranis), do they let him/her?

No one would let Nemo kiss them apart from Denzel. Nemo is supposed to be gay anyway, he shouldn't go around trying to kiss everyone.


5. 7 (Caru )gets a bazooka and starts shooting at everyone, who will survive?

Den would try and take it away from before he shoots anyone. He's not allowed to play with things like that, and Caru probably doesn't even know how to use it.


6. 4 dies, how does 1 and 10 react to it?

Nemo would be very happy. He'd probably throw a party. Keaira probably wouldn't react at all.

7. MKFan jumped out of nowhere in the middle of the quiz, how does everyone react to it?

Who's MKFan?


9. 6 (Aranis) is stuck in a cave with a huge monster. There is a sword he can use to fight against it, but it's lying on the other side of a pit of tarantulas and 9's (Bambi) boogers. Does he make a reach for the sword, and can he fight back against the monster? 

Yeah, he'll get the sword and kick the monsters ass. He'd be pretty shit at his job if he can't fight a monster.


10. 1 (Nemo), 6 (Aranis ), and 7 (Caru ) go to muligans to play lazer tag. But 7 forgot to call 3 (Den) and 4 (Ciel) to tell them they were going. When they get back 7 finally realizes they forgot to call. What is 3 and 4's reaction when 1, 6, and 7 return?

Den is upset that he didn't get to go, and tells Caru off for forgetting and Ciel probably doesn't care and didn't want to go anyway.


11. 3 (Den) thinks 7 (Caru) is MADLY in love with him/her. But 7 likes 9(Bambi) ! What is 3's reaction?

Den would be devastated. Caru is supposed to be his fiancée. To find out Caru loves his brother would have him crying for aaages. 


12. 6 (Aranis) , 8 (Eli)  and 4 (Ciel) have sexy time. Is it sexy?

...What is classed as sexy time? These three together has to be extremely random, and sexy doesn't fit in with anything Eli does. Okay, okay. Just imagine them all making out on the sofa, naked. Do YOU think it's sexy? Dx



13. 6 (Aranis), 8(Eli) and 4(Ciel) are all eating cake. Who poisoned it?

Nemo did. He's the only one who doesn't so much care for these three.

14. Someone passes out fortune cookies. 2 (Cam)  gets one that says 'The person next to you is evil.' What does 2 do to number 5 (Seb), who is right next to them?

Cam would do nothing, he expects as much. Sebastian is the ruler of Hell after all. He has to be somewhat evil.


15. The Nargles are attacking 7 (Caru) and 8 (Eli). What does 3 (Den) do?

Cry. Wish he could help them, but would probably end up running off and getting his Mum to save them or something.


16. Make up an e-mail address for 6.

One-eyed-wonder@yahoo.com


17. What would you do if 9(Bambi)  suddenly paid you a visit?

Hug him and cuddle him and treat him like a baby because he's kind of cute. x)


18. What subject would 1 (Nemo) teach if s/he were a teacher/professor? Would s/he be good at it?

The art of torture. He might be kind of good at it. 


19. 4(Ciel) is walking home when s/he sees a cute fluffy creature, which promptly begins rubbing itself against his/her legs. Will s/he kick it away, or take it home?

It's probably a cat and the moment it touches him, he'll probably kick it away.


20. If you had the chance to rewrite 1's (Nemo) life, how would you change it?

I  wouldn't, actually. I like him exactly as he is. 

21. 2 (Cam)  and 7(Caru) are making out. 10 (Keaira) walks in... Their reaction?

He'd say 'Cam, what the fuck are you doing to my son! D< You're supposed to do that to me.'


22. 3 (Den)  has to marry either 8 (Eli) , 4(Ciel)  or 9(Bambi). Who do they chose?

He'd pick Bambi. Eli is too old for him and Ciel isn't the easiest to get along with and he already loves his brother a lot. x)


23. 7(Caru) challenges 1(Nemo) to staring contest, why? And who wins? 

Caru wins. Do spiders even have eyelids?



24. If you had to pick a video game character to pair up with 4 (Ciel), who would you choose?

I don't know many video game characters. D: Um...Squall Leonhart, just because he's attractive.



25. 5 (Seb) and 9 (Bambi) get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

I'll buy more alcohol and get drunk with them. The rest is a mystery.


26. 9 (Bambi) and 2 (Cam) are depressed, why?

...Because Den shouted at them both for arguing with eachother? Idk.



27. Think 8 (Eli)  could be a super model?

Hahahah....No.

28. They all get involved into an epic brawl (not the video game), and only one of them survives, who won?

Keaira, because I think he's the only one who can't actually die.


29. They all get involved in an epic Brawl (the video game), who wins?

Hiroto again because of the reason above. 


30. One of them falls in love with you, which one?

I think Nemo, as he's the only one who isn't gay...

31. GENDER SWAP! What happens?

It just turns into a big groping session to see who has the nicest boobs.


32. 2 (Cam) posted a picture of 1(Nemo) and 10 (Keaira) making out on the Internet! What happens?

Revenge on Nemo for making out with his brother, Cam posts it up as evidence that Nemo is infact gayer than he claims he is.


33. JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A LION!!!

Don't worry! It's just Keaira. He's friendly, sometimes. 

34. New scenario: 3 (Den) is driving down a lonely road with 1 (Nemo)  in the back seat. The car breaks down, and they ask to stay at a roadside house. What happens?

Nemo will fly off to find someone to help fix it. But...why is Den driving, he's 9?



35. Another new scenario: imagine 2 (Cam)  has a bride, if he or she didn't already, and a baby is born. 3 (Den) is asked to babysit. What happens?

Den would look after the baby, as he has looked after babies before and he enjoys doing it. 

Keaira would be Cam's bride, and who's damn baby is it this time? D<



36. If x = 7+3 then what must X equal? Furthermore, what is the point of this question?

Everything equals sex, and Idk the point in the question.


37. Who would make a better college professor, 6 (Aranis) or 1(Nemo)?

...Eh, Nemo, as he actually had some form of education.



38. Do you think 2 is hot?

If he was older than 10, he might be. Dx


39. If 2 (Cam)  had to choose sides between 4 (Ciel)  and 5 (Seb) , which would it be?

Seb. Because he likes Seb better and whatever Ciel does, Seb can probably do it better.


40. 1 (Nemo) gets a paper cut. What is the immediate reaction?

He thinks nothing much off it, and will probably lick any blood away. 

41. 5 (Seb), 3 (Den), 2 (Cam), and 8 are waiting for the bus. Write the conversation they have until the bus arrives.

41. 5 (Seb), 3 (Den), 2 (Cam), and 8 (Eli) are waiting for the bus. Write the conversation they have until the bus arrives.

Den: Hey, Cam. Tell Seb about that carrot thing. It's funny.

Cam: No. x.x

Seb: What carrot thing?

Den: He and Keaira did things with a carrot.

Eli: Denzel, that is not appropriate to talk about. 

Seb: ...Lovely.

Cam: Shut up. It was fun. D<


42. The quiz is over! Now what? 

Everyone loses the game.

Alois; After visiting Gabriel in Hell, I realised how much I miss the people who are no longer around. Those people in my past that I will never see again. Luka and Jinx, to name a couple. At least I may still see Gabriel.  There is one other person who I also miss very dearly and that is Claude. He was once the only person I had in life, and now he's not here. I feel very lonely at times without him, even if I have Malphas and my family with me always. I'd love to see him at least once more. 


Malphas, may we go on a little summer vacation away someplace else, please? Away from the manor. Luca and Chester can look after Myka and the pets. I am sure they won't get into any more shit than they already do. Me being around to trying to keep that idiot in check does nothing. Chester actually makes me look intelligent. That is the only reason why I allow him to live with us. 

Nemo; Orders to kill my first reaper? Sounds ever so fun... If I meet this reaper, and he turns out to be a piss poor fighter, I am going to be annoyed. I think I may just bound him up somewhere, and strip him very slowly of his skin for shits and giggles. I won't let him die until a great deal of pain has been dealt. I think I dislike reapers more than angels. I have nothing against  the angels in my family, they are very lovely people, but those directly under God, I would love nothing more than to watch them being eaten alive by flesh eating maggots.  They are fun to tease and annoy, and kill for fun... However reapers prevent demons from devouring souls, and that makes them worse. 

To think that Sebastian once had an affair with one is making me shudder. To have a son with one is...distasteful. Thinking too much about reapers has me itching to inflict pain on people. I think I am going to visit Kida and see how long he can keep his eyes open after having his skull crushed... Probably not very long.

Denzel; Quite a lot has happened over the past few weeks or so for us. Bambi took me to Heaven, which seemed like a really lovely place that I would love to visit again, if it did not make me feel quite so ill and tired . If I do go again, I'd rather not say any prayers next time. Gen had a baby, which was nice. It's always kind of nice when someone has a baby. I don't  think Sophie stayed very nice, though. Not after she took Lucky from me and started to cut him up. You shouldn't do that to people, and now Lucky is scared of her. Aranis had said that he hadn't met Sophie yet, we went to see her the other day, and in her room was lots of dead animals and stuff. I wanted to be sick and cry at the same time. I wasn't, though. I think Aranis was a little upset too. I hope Sophie doesn't try and kill Dandelion. I got him for Aranis because he's one of my best friends.

Mummy and Aranis aren't just best friends anymore. Yesterday they both got me lots of pretty pink flowers to put in my room, and then they told me they were together. I don't really have a problem with this anymore,  provided they don't act any differently towards me. I don't want to say I am greedy, wanting both of their attention, but I love them both too much, and I really don't want them to start ignoring me and only pay attention to one another. I want them to stay together because I can see it makes them both very happy. I am pretty sure everyone knows that I really hate making anyone upset, so from now on, if I don't really like something that makes other people really happy, I will not say anything. Like if Mummy and Aranis are ever able to have children. Daddy and Elias did that, and it was all fine before, because Elias tried not to leave me out of things, but after he had Kitty and Levi, we haven't been as close and that upsets me. Nemo says I have an 'all or nothing' attitude to a lot of things. I'm under the impression this is not really a good thing, but he won't really explain it. 


Bambi came into my room the other day when I was with Caru and started saying that I was acting pregnant. I hadn't really thought of it like that, because I still haven't had sex since April, so there was no way I could be. Sebastian came in after Caru had left after a tiny argument, and he told me that I could be having a false pregnancy, instead of an actual one. I wish my body wouldn't do that. It's not fair. I don't want to feel like I am going to have a baby when I am not. Sebastian asked if I wanted to wait it out, and I told him no. If my hormones were acting up already, and if I went full term, and ended up going through a labour which resulted in nothing, I would feel even worse. You can't just go though nine months of pregnancy and not have the dire need to mother something after. I feel it would feel similar to having a miscarriage or something. I don't actually want more children for a while. I do hope this doesn't happen again.